Taking Care of Your Mental Health

I am happiest when I connect with people. When I feel that connection, it feels like I've become closer to the people I talk with - even if we've been friends for 10+ years. You can get this feeling by talking to people online, but it's not the same as being with those people in person. The experience is always richer, and more memorable. Your heart soars.

However, it is hard to connect with people when you don't feel like it, and sometimes you may not even know why. You might feel exhausted, that there's no point in going out, that you would just bring everyone else's mood down. But it isn't about any of that. It is about your mental well-being, and what you need to do to help pick yourself up so that you can enjoy and live your life to the fullest. It is said that life is a present, and it can most definitely be.

Positive Self Coaching

Everyone talks to themselves in one way or the other, we all have that voice in our heads that speaks a certain way. For most of us, that voice puts us down. It tells you that you're not good enough, that you suck, that you aren't worth it, the list goes on. It knows your weak spots and will exploit them. For many, this is the only voice they hear. But it is not your voice, it is not you. Change the way you speak to yourself. Be kind to yourself - like you would to your best friend. It is difficult changing that voice to one of love, when it has been so negative for so long. But it can be done. I know it sounds cheesy, but calling yourself "love" can be one way to start the change. In addition to bringing more love to yourself by calling yourself love, you remind yourself that you should practice self-love. 

Support Groups

It is important for you to know that you are not alone - you don't ever have to be alone. There are people experiencing similar things, and when these people come together and support each other, something magical happens. Along with finding a group of people that can support you, new friendships can be made, along with a sense of purpose. This group can be whoever you want it to be. For me it's my friends and family, for others it is a group going through similar difficulties such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, alcoholism, etc. The following link to support groups found in Calgary:

• Elements - Calgary Mental Health Centre

• MeetUp

• OBAD

• Support Works

Gratitude Journaling

Many people say that gratefulness is the key to happiness (Huffington Post). Gratitude journaling is an amazing exercise to practice daily, and helps to gently change your attitude to one of gratitude. It allows you to see a different perspective, be more empathetic, create a deeper understanding of yourself, and keep things in perspective. Having this journal can also be useful when your mood is lower as a way to remind you of all the things in your life that brings you happiness. 

Going Outside

There are so many beautiful things to behold outside, whether it's a tender interaction between two people, seeing someone helping another, the fluffy clouds passing by, feeling the wind caress your face, or the beautiful changing colours of the leaves. There are things you can enjoy. Do the things you've always wanted to try. There's no pressure trying to placate another person, and you can do everything at your leisure, there are no time constraints to see another place unless you want to. After a few times, this is very liberating, this kind of independence is beautiful and something to savor. 

Finding Your Purpose

This one is really important. Finding your purpose will give you the energy to get out of bed on the days you really don't want to. It gives you that extra push because there is something you are trying to achieve. Generally, the purpose isn't material-based. It is something bigger than yourself that you can dedicate your life to. For some, it's providing for their family, for others is taking care of their beloved pet, and yet, for others, it's helping or supporting someone get through something going on in their lives. Finding your purpose can be difficult, so one way to start finding your own purpose is by learning more and discovering who you are. Your purpose can be whatever you want it to be, and it makes you feel like there's a reason you are here.

Remember, it is completely normal for you not to be happy every single moment of your life. It is okay to feel "blah," it's ok for you to feel down, content, etc. These emotions are not bad and are often needed in life. Life ebbs and flows, and your mood will change accordingly. Social media has made it easier for people to show the best parts of their lives, the parts they feel alive - but behind the scenes, their moods can quite often, be the opposite of what they are displaying. 

With lots of Love,

~Dr. Charmagne

Breastfeeding Do's and Don'ts

When it comes to breastfeeding, everyone has an opinion, and everyone thinks their way is correct. It doesn't help that the information found on the internet is often contradictory, and that physicians, nurses, and lactation consultants have a difficult time agreeing if a baby has a tongue tie or not. So how does this leave mothers? Confused. Very confused. 

In the clinic, there is a number of moms that book appointments to have all of their questions and concerns addressed. To have someone they've met and trust answer questions, give tips on how to help with breastfeeding is very relieving.

I've learned several things from my amazing mentor, Janet Regts RN IBCLC, being at the clinic, here is a few Do's and Don'ts when it comes to breastfeeding:

Don't judge yourself

As women, we tend to judge ourselves harshly. Now add a baby, and you judge yourself 10x harder. There's no need to add undue pressure on yourself to be the perfect mother and wife. Do the best that you can, and trust that it is good enough. If that means you have to feed your baby formula so he is gaining weight while you work on increasing your milk supply, then feed your baby formula. If you give your baby a few bottles of formula to give yourself a break, then do it. What is important is that you and your baby are in a happy and healthy relationship, and if that means you are adding formula, then it's fine.

Don't be pressured to do something you don't feel is right

It seems like everyone is judging mothers. What are they feeding their baby, how they're raising their baby, are they coddling their baby? If someone advises something to you, and it doesn't feel right, then don't follow it. You have the best interests in mind for your baby, and if that means you want to go the natural root and not take medication to increase your milk supply, then go for it. Make this breastfeeding journey what you want it to be, and remember there is always support for you.

Don't limit yourself

If your goal is to breastfeed for x number of months, and you are determined to do it, you should be able to do it without having painful breasts and/or nipples. There are treatments and different strategies that can help you accomplish that. But if you refuse to hear the options, then you will have a more difficult time accomplishing that goal, and may quit before reaching it. As with anything in life, you'll have to weigh the pros and the cons, and decide which route you want to go, but you have an open mind so you can see both sides.

Do trust in yourself

Women's bodies are amazing. We can create and give birth to life, and we can sustain that life solely on breastmilk - which our bodies make! You trusted your body to create your baby. You worked with and trusted your body to give birth to your baby (either through natural means or a cesarean birth), and you can do the same thing with breastfeeding. Trust yourself and your body. You know what to do. There's no need to stress about it. You have people making sure that your baby is growing accordingly. Feed your baby, and have confidence in your ability to care for them.

Do seek assistance when you need it

You should never have to be by yourself when working out something difficult. This goes for your health as well as breastfeeding. Everyone needs support, and encouragement. Find someone to help you through these difficulties. There are La Leche League meetings all over Canada to support mothers breastfeed. These are groups of mothers who talk about their hardships and get support from their Leader and their fellow mothers. Lactation Consultants (LC)are knowledgeable and specialized in helping mothers with any breastfeeding difficulty they may have. La Leche League Leaders will often recommend seeing an LC if your concern requires more knowledge and/or understanding. You are not alone. There are people that want to help support you and know what you are going through.

Do find what works for you

There's a saying in the clinic that is often said: "As long as baby poops, pees and gains weight, whatever you are doing is perfect." Every feeding situation is different for every mother and baby, don't be hard on yourself. You are doing everything you can to make sure your baby grows up healthy. If your feeding your baby a mixture of your breastmilk and formula, and both you and baby are happy, that's 100% perfect for you. 

- Dr. Charmagne